Blue Tape Collective; Volume 1

by Blue Tape Collective

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about

Blue Tape Collective, Vol. 1 is a compilation amongst friends. Any money that you donate upon downloading the album will go to creating physical copies, which we will then send to each band that took part, at no cost to them, and with which they can do whatever they please. Any additional money will be put towards releasing more music in the future. The goal is simple - we want to stimulate growth in independent music. We hope you listen to all of the bands, and if you enjoy what you hear, support them in whatever way that you can.

The reason the tracks are not available for free as individual downloads is because we want to encourage you to download and listen to the entire album, but we still want you to be able to stream the songs here.

Included in the .zip file are issues two and three of Disparate Thoughts, which can also be found online here:
www.facebook.com/pages/Disparate-Thoughts-a-zine/134886399928518

Blue Tape Collective on Facebook, which will be updated frequently:
www.facebook.com/pages/Blue-Tape-Collective/131618173581669

Blue Tape Collective; Volume 1 can also be downloaded for free here (VBR, no bonus material):
www.mediafire.com?rt3peoygcj92cyl

credits

released September 4, 2011

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Blue Tape Collective Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Code Orange Kids - Cycles (The Days Get Longer)
nameless.
this depressive disgust comes in cycles // the same conversations // the same faces // words of worth engulfed in dirt // all my substance lost in long winded give ins // but the days keep getting longer // we forgive each other.
forgive me.
we hang onto threads that are barely breathing // concepts of emotion plague my memories // a myriad of remnants affirming beliefs carved into my mind like holding stone.
i am the beaten horse.
i am self sufficient.
i am nothing.
the days get longer // we lose each other
Track Name: Old Gray - City Orchards
Each night, I decorate the walls of my room with sketches of a city I've never seen. (I've held the same air in my lungs for the past seventeen years- I think it's time for a fresh breath, but only as time will allow. Do you think that you can trick time into thinking that it never passed? Do you really think each new memory can just replace the last?)
I pay attention to the finer details, like the crooked and tired buildings that cast shadows over lonely playgrounds and the dim lamp posts lighting the road like an infinite set of sad eyes. When it's time to sleep, I lay on my back and stare at my makeshift night sky. I always forget the stars. And each morning, when I wake, I always wake up alone. So I erase my walls and start again. Do I dare disturb the universe?
Track Name: Judges - Cluttered Minds
Everyday is a new day to breathe hate, reinstate what the world tells me is right. Find the truth, but what for if it’s all a lie? These questions, clutter minds over and over again. I remember when I was so nieve that I thought I didn’t deserve a dead ending, I think its time I opened up my eyes, open my eyes and see renewed spite. ‘Cause I am not the man I wanted to be when I got here, I am nothing short of lost. Everyday is a new day to breathe hate, reinstate what the world tells me is right. What the world tells me is right. I’m not sure when I gave up trying to set myself straight, ’cause I give in and I give in. I want nothing more of this, I want nothing more of this. I matter no more, I am nothing, I am nothing, I am just a selfish waste of a human life.
Track Name: Dowsing - ...And That's Why You Always Leave A Note! (Acoustic Demo)
take the door off its hinges find the nails behind the clock run around the house until everyone wakes up. the thermostat is on so turn the dial off wearing layers inside waiting for summer months.
Track Name: Centennial - Paper Thin
Our faces turned paper-thin glass
Sandlots bereft and torn
Have weathered the time

We’re off course from better distractions

Our faces turned paper-thin glass
Sandlots bereft and torn
Have weathered the time

Tie my words to the back
Of my tongue
Track Name: Old Accusers - The Wait
We're standing still on a mountain of dirt
Shooting BB guns at clouds and hitting our feet
(On a mountain of dirt)
We're not alone when we're breaking the teeth
The mouth has swallowed more than we know
This town is a coal dusted train wreck
Slums and junkies
Kids on the rails in stagnant dens of smoke
Lone mothers, empty bottles, noses of coke
We are not awake enough
Track Name: Aviator - The Definition Of A Dead End
Too much to say / too little too late / these four walls could never keep all the thoughts of you in the back of my mind from trickling to the tip of my pen / the ink pours like blood from the tip of my tongue / but the hatred I feel / it’s not for you / but the things you said and the things you did not do / these unfinished entries are all I’ve got left / I’m still here holding on to what’s already dead / keeping it alive within my own head / this migraine is endless / I can’t explain the pain I’m feeling inside / but if you would only let me I could show you / that is if you wanted me to / I’m such a fool / I remember when you said “we’ll meet again when the leaves fall” / well they’ve fallen along with every hope / buried beneath the leaves and the snow / though I might not show it / simply put I’ve been desperate / it takes a weak man as strong as I am to admit that / this past year has been one of my worst / distance has more than one meaning for us / and the closer I get the more distant I become / I have no shoes for you to walk in that could help you understand just what I’ve been running from / but maybe just your bare feet would be enough / at least then you might see why I have been so cold / I took your word / it led me down a dead end road.
Track Name: The Ambulance - Menacingly
slip your fingers just beneath the collar of my sleeve
crook my shoulder and lay your tired temples in between
plant me in your soil and uproot me like a wisping willow tree
peel me open and see what secrets i've hidden underneath

but i'm blissfully unaware of the words that i've left in there
so bite my tongue and close me up

trace your fingers down the atlas of my torn and tattered veins
all the worn-out spots and all the nooks and crannies stay the same
but i don't have the heart to tell you all the roads are flooded due to rain
and we'll both be washed out, little itsy-bitsy spider down the drain

and i'm as scared as i can be with my mirror looking back at me
he's fillin' up my head with my darkest memories
but i can count on you to see my reflection less menacingly
yours is the only love i need to keep my sanity
Track Name: Mallard - Kelsey Q. vs. The Holland Tunnel
sleeping in is getting old
so i'm lying down,
continually unsure
wondering why i
waste my time

i looked up. now
i'm out of touch
with what i thought i once was
i'm standing now
but i dont know how much
trust i have in myself

or anyone else

my hands are becoming
too weak to hold onto my own head
i'm exhausted from telling
myself that i really know nothing

what keeps me from leaving
this room is the memories i have
of the time that i sat here
and held onto something i said

but i'm over it

what makes me feel so weak
is my inability
to walk out from under this
fucking ceiling

no one knows why my head is numb
it's all a part of
why i can't feel sad when i know that it's worth it
i'm done trying
Track Name: Wifebeater - But, Right Now
I’m putting time and effort into hopeless dreams,
That I can’t ever think of fulfilling.
The people I love, the ideas- idealized
Have all been forgotten or left behind.

I keep trying and thinking of way to remember
But when everything counts there’s nothing ever there.

But, right now
I see myself standing alone

I thought that we were all together.
But nothing ever stays the same.
I knew this long ago,
But I must have forgotten.

Don’t let me blend in with the past,
I can’t promise that I’ll be there in the future.

But, right now
I see myself standing alone.
Track Name: Lizards Have Personalities - Dear Girl Lying In The Middle of The Road, You Could Do Better. (Demo)
There's a part of me that I am missing
I keep searching just to end up at dead ends
A return to the start. An attempt to mend a heart.
But how can you find what you know doesn't exist?

I know that I never will but I'm too human to care.
There's a sickness inside of me that refuses my will.
Everything I love must someday disappear
It's that void, a truth, that I cannot fill.

I'm a human being.
I cannot be defined.
I can make my own life or I can take it.

I still carry the weight of those words with me.
Track Name: oldfears - 02
buy everything that’s left.
but there’s nothing left.
time’s up, times are up.
consume.
clean your plate and make room for more.
hollowleg.
it just pours and pours out.
shopping lust.
we never see it leave. nothing ever, ever goes away.
buy anything so you don’t need anyone.
deep pockets, deep graves.
Track Name: My Fictions - Same Grave
I don't know what to blame for why I shy away so much
But I'm taking steps forward towards facing all of my faults
Take my ego hostage; sign the ransom note as the holy ghost and bring my agnostic eyes to the pit of my chest, the sightline of my stomach because i can't digest a single thing about this place
And when I die I won't know anything and it won't mean a fucking thing
It's going to come down soon, I've been running scared I don't feel prepared
Oh my sweet serene, don't I love how you've been watching me?
I take the good with the bad, I guess, at least someone's watching, I validate my existence through self loathing
And when I look at my life, it's a procession through fluorescent lights
A synthetic sun I keep shying myself away from
And when I think of all the people I've wronged I just want to be left alone
But I'm forever stuck here to reflect
You know I hate how I get but this distance is developing
And I can't lie in the same grave for a week at a time in my ever-changing mind
This destiny draws into a black hole and I'm circling the drain as I wait for the end
Now I know why I'm afraid to die, I'm just so sick of crossing lines
and I feel as if I fucking hate myself
As if I can't relate to anyone outside my self
To anything at all, so sick of building walls
Like I scared my self out of it
Because whenever I leave the house I just want to go back inside
and I guess that's why I can't believe the myth that we are always moving forward
Track Name: Featherweight - Cul-de-Sac Kings (Live In Connecticut)
It’s the artist’s postpartum depression
that plagues my generation
Nowhere to go in the valleys
between corpulent cities
a balancing act between: excess and Death
which end is ours,
unshown and unknown

Where are our defining marks
when all we’ve known:
are highways lined with trailer parks?
Vomit stench trends-
our noses in the air to pretend
the littered river and rotten livers
are a godsend;

Passionless, possessive relationships:
itching for the scent of spit
Our hopes co-opted and stolen
by commercial tropes.
Never finding that perfect rhyme,
waiting for a brighter sun to rise
Always killing time;
Forever in decline.

Living terrified,
gassed in our beehive
Doors shake
The ground quakes
Jesus breaks
Up rises the concrete
filled lake
wide-eye we
drown while awake

Inhale the liquid deep
Filter oxygen and creep
Begotten from the gutter
To the surface, flailing harder
One day we’ll arrive,
dry, reconciled, and alive.